


and i could never let you know

by JkWriter



Series: Unrelated Spider-Man One-Shots [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-20 09:02:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19989535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JkWriter/pseuds/JkWriter
Summary: the baby monitor protocol was never meant to be used like this, but he wasn't meant to die





	1. Chapter 1

_The city is quiet. Peter kneels on top of a building in the heart of New York looking out over everything. It’s a good vantage point. From where he kneels he can keep an eye on everything from Queens to Broadway. The city is quiet, it has been ever since the Vulture was stopped. Quiet is good._  
  
_“I bet you can’t catch a pigeon with your web shooters.” Ned’s voice crackles through the coms. Ned’s always on the other side of the ear piece. Every time Peter goes out his best friend is there to help guide him in the right direction even though sometimes (most of the time) he made stupid requests to test what Peter could and couldn’t do._  
  
_“Why would I even want to do that?” Peter asks. There’s a group of pigeons to his left. They’re chilling on the edge of the building._  
  
_“Because there’s fifteen bucks on the table saying you can’t.”_  
  
_The pigeons don’t move. They sit there making the occasional bird noise. “....Karen, what are the chances I can catch a pigeon with my web shooters?”_  
  
_“Sixty-three percent chance of success without injury to either party. Two percent chance of injury to the pigeon and thirty-five percent chance of injury to yourself. Total odds, one-hundred percent chance of success if you were to aim properly.”_  
  
_“Ned, get my money ready because I’m bringing home a new friend.”_  
  
_—_  
  
_Peter sneaks in through the window. It’s two a.m., the time blinking at him in the corner of his vision. He comes in through the window because of how late it was. He spent the past fifteen minutes telling Karen that May was going to kill him and then Tony was going to kill him and Ned for disarming the tracker again. His room is dark and the apartment is quiet._

_Then the bedside light flickers on._

_“Curfew was two hours ago, Peter,” May says from where she sits on Peter’s bed. It’s obvious she’s been up worrying. There are dark circles under her eyes and the clock’s been pulled from Peter’s wall and now lies on the bed next to her. Peter jumps down from the ceiling._ __  
__  
_“I know, and I’m really sorry but there was this lady who got locked out of her apartment and then I tried to get in but set off a bunch of alarms so we had to wait for police to show up and she verified I wasn’t trying to break in and then-“_ __  
__  
_“Peter, it’s alright. You don’t have to explain yourself like this. Just, be careful. And don’t be late again.”_ __  
__  
_“I won’t Aunt May, I promise.”_ __  
__  
_—_ __  
__  
_“I made some upgrades to the suit.” Whenever Peter’s in one of Tony’s labs he looks at everything in awe. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s been in it whether it’s to work or he’s just passing through, he still looks around at everything like it’s brand new. “I want your opinion on a few before I implement them. Are you even listening?”_ __  
__  
_Peter looks at Tony. His mentor stands across the lab. In between them is the new suit Tony had been working on. He hasn’t told Peter what the upgrades are but Peter trusts his judgement. He’s Tony Stark, anything he says goes. Peter tells him as much._ __  
__  
_“You sure about that, kid? It’s your suit.”_ __  
__  
_“I know whatever it is it’s gonna be awesome.”_  
  
—  
  
“End of footage.” Karen’s voice echoed through the lab. Tony stared at the wall where the projection had been playing.  
  
He poured another drink. “Play it again.”  
  
—  
  
_“Hey, Karen?”_ __  
__  
_“Yes, Peter?”_  
  
_“Do you think the Avengers take spa days? Oh my god, that’d be weird, right? Like, I’m imaging Dr. Banner as the Hulk walking into a spa.”_

_“Miss Romanoff and Mr. Rhodes have gone to Massage Envy together three times in the last six months.”_

_“Woah, that’s so cool. Could you imagine just working and all of a sudden two Avengers walk in? Must have been wild. Wait. Isn’t Miss Romanoff a wanted war criminal?”_

_“Miss Romanoff is a Russian Spy who has connections with both the Avengers and the illegal team led by Captain Rogers. She freely passes between countries on account of no one daring to stop her.”_

_“She’s so cool.”_

_—_

_“Let me buy you a churro!”_

_“Oh, really it’s okay.”_

_“Nonsense!” the lady says taking hold of Peter’s hand. She starts walking and Peter follows. “Heroes deserve to be paid for their hard work, I don’t have much but I can at least buy you a treat.”_

_“Thank you, but it’s really not necessary. I’m just happy to help.”_

_“Too selfless, like that Tony Stark. That man would give his life to save the city and won’t take anything for his troubles. You heroes need to let us give back.”_

_—_

_“I’m pretty sure having an informant who’s a criminal goes against everything an Avenger stands for,” Peter says._

_“If having the informant will help others in the long run would it not be a good thing?”_

_“Well, yeah, but he’s a criminal, Karen! What if he lies to me? Or he tries to kill me? What if he tries to kill me by lying to me?”_

_“I can notify Mr. Stark of your location if you’re afraid.”_

_“No, no don’t do that. I gotta prove I’m Avengers material and that means leaving my comfort zone. Have his contact pulled up, but don’t call him either.”_

_—_

“Tony?” Pepper called from the entrance of the lab. Tony didn’t turn to face his fiancée. His eyes stayed trained on the projection. The clip changed. It was no longer Peter waiting for Aaron Davis but his meeting with the petty criminal who gave information on a drug ring. Tony hadn’t been happy when Peter started working towards bringing down the ring but he let him work. Peter had more than proved he was capable, more capable than all of the Avengers. “Tony?” Pepper called again. She stood behind him now, her hands resting on his shoulders. “How long have you…” 

“Couple of hours,” he answered. His voice was dry and raspy. The result of an afternoon of drinking and crying. 

“You need to sleep,” she said. “Karen, pause the video.” 

“Of course, Miss Potts.” The video paused on an image of Peter and his friend. The friend, Ned, was wearing the suit. He and Peter were looking in the mirror and laughing. 

“I’m not tired.” Tony started to pour himself another drink. Pepper took the bottle from him. “Give it back,” he said with no real intention behind his words. 

“No. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” 

“I’m not doing anything.” 

“You’ve spent the past two days down here combing through hours of footage. Tony,” Pepper spun Tony’s chair so they faced each other. “he wouldn’t want you to drink yourself to death.” 

“Yeah, well he’s not here, is he? None of them are because I failed. The kids gone and it’s my fault.” 

“Don’t you dare say that.” Pepper took his hands and knelt down so they were eye to eye. “Don’t say it’s your fault. It’s not yours. It’s not Steve’s, or Thor’s.” 

“I promised his Aunt I’d protect him.” 

“You did. You gave him everything. You gave everything. But this...Thanos, it’s not your fault. It’s not the Avengers fault or the Guardians. You guys did the best you could and now we just have to move on.” 

“How?” 

“Turn the footage off. Turn it off until you’re ready. Don’t keep watching. It’s killing you and I can’t lose you. Please, Tony. I need you. May needs you.” 

“She hates me.” 

“She doesn’t hate you, but she wants to talk to you.” 

“To yell at me?” 

“To tell you Peter wouldn’t want this.” 

Tony looked at the paused video. Peter’s grin stared back at him. He’d throw a fit if he saw Tony like this. “Friday, call May Parker. Karen, please file away the footage.” 

“Of course, Mr. Stark. Is that going to be all?” 

“Yeah. Thanks.” 

_—_

_“Mr. Stark!” Peter pulls off his mask and smiles. “Did you see that? I webbed like six guys at once.”_

_“Pretty impressive, kid.”_

_“Avengers impressive?” Peter asks. It’s impossible not to smile back at him. Peter’s ruining Tony’s “heartless” image but Tony finds he doesn’t really mind._

_“Yeah, Avengers impressive.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> karen never stopped recording

Peter sat on his bed with his back to the wall. He could still hear Happy and May talking in the living room. “Everyone deals with grief in a different way,” Happy said. Dealing with grief. That was a funny way to say he was super depressed because his entire life changed in a matter of minutes. He accusingly stared at the Iron Spider suit balled up at the foot of his bed. It had sat there ever since he got home after the final battle. He didn’t let anyone touch it. Not May. Not Happy. Not even Rhodey who said he only wanted to get it repaired. They would take it away. This was Peter’s last connection to  _ him  _ and he wasn’t about to let anyone take that. 

The front door opened and closed taking with it the talking. He could still hear Happy and May, their voices growing distant and May walked Happy down to the building’s entrance. Peter stayed on his bed eyeing the Iron Spider suit. How long had it been since he's worn it? A week? Two? The days had melded together. Peter couldn’t remember if it was Monday or Saturday. He didn’t know if Ned had stopped by earlier today or if it was four days ago. He reached forward and grabbed the mask. 

Peter pulled the mask on. It was dark and for a moment he worried the settings had been damaged in the battle against Thanos and he should have let Rhodey take it to be repaired, but then it came to life. Data spread out across his vision. The date, his location, the time and the weather. 

“Hello, Peter,” Karen said into his ear. She hadn’t been present when they fought against Thanos. Peter thought something happened when traveling to space and back. “Nothing happened. Friday’s control took over to link everyone together.” 

“Did I say that out loud?” 

“Yes, but it’s alright. I’m here to answer your questions and help make life easier for you.” 

“That’s nice because life is not easy right now. Is there an opposite of easy that isn’t hard? Is there a word that means ‘everything was a mistake and this isn’t happening right now’?”

“Perhaps video would help?” 

“Wait, what?”

—

_ “Alright, Spider A.I. test one. Give me some stats about Spider-Man.”  _

_ “Spider-Man, also known as Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider while on a field trip at Oscorp. The spider bite altered his DNA to resemble that of a spider. Peter’s strength was amplified, coupled with his ability to climb walls and acrobatic abilities Peter has taken up the mantle of New York’s newest hero, Spider-Man.”  _

_ Tony smiles. “Not bad,” he says. “Let’s try and keep his name down to a minimum, yeah? Friday, make a note to change the programming to keep her from giving out the kids identity.”  _

_ “Note created. Should I shut down the Spider A.I.?”  _

_ “Nah,” Tony says. “Let it keep running in the background.”  _

_ — _

_ “Friday, how’s the Spider A.I. looking?”  _

_ “Ready to be transferred. Should I begin the process?”  _

_ “Not yet. Program being ready and me being ready are two different things. I’m still eighty-seven percent sure I shouldn’t be giving this kid a suit.”  _

_ “Analyzed data shows that Mr. Parker will continue his vigilantism with or without the suit. At this rate, Peter would be safer with the suit and the A.I.”  _

_ “I hate when you’re right.” Tony looks at the suit. “Start the data transfer.”  _

_ — _

Peter couldn’t breathe. This was...he didn’t know what this was. Videos of Tony, sure, but why? “Karen what...What is this?” 

“I record everything, Peter. Would you perhaps like later footage?” 

—

_ Peter watches as Tony tries to explain the plan to the Guardians. He mostly watches Tony and the facial expressions he makes as his words go unheard. It was pretty hilarious asides from the whole looming threat of death.  _

_ “Jesus Christ, we are all going to die,” Tony says to Peter.  _

_ “I don’t think they’re so bad, just a bit eccentric.”  _

_ Tony turns to Peter. “Kid, one day you’ll understand how not okay this situation is. It’s pretty fucked. Don’t tell Aunt Hottie I said that in front of you.”  _

_ “I’m gonna tell her.”  _

—

_ Tony sits in the lab with a drink in hand. He looks terrible. There are dark bags under his eyes. It looks as though he hadn’t slept in weeks. Maybe he hadn’t.  _

_ “Tony, it’s time for bed.” Pepper says. She’s out of sight, at the opening of the lab. Tony doesn’t say anything. “Tony, please.”  _

_ “I gotta keep working, Peter’s suit needs a new upgrade.” Pepper sighs. “Ten more minutes.”  _

_ “Ten minutes.”  _

_ — _

_ Morgan’s a baby. Pepper’s holding her in the lab. She wide-eyed and grabbing everything she can reach. Pepper laughs as Tony struggles to childproof the lab. “You don’t have to do this,” she tells him.  _

_ “‘Course I do. She’s gotta start young if she’s gonna get into MIT.”  _

_ “MIT, huh?”  _

_ “Yup. Rhodey and I have it all planned out.”  _

_ “Do I get to be apart of these plans?”  _

_ “Maybe. Honey bear and I haven’t decided yet.” Morgan reaches out to her dad. Tony takes her from Pepper. “MIT is the dream, kid. Peter and the Tennessee brat used to talk about it all the time.”  _

_ Pepper frowns. “You haven’t talked about them in a while,” she says. “Are they still trying?”  _

_ “‘Tasha is. Bruce started experimenting with gamma radiation, I don't know what he's planning and I don't think I want to. Clint’s still MIA after his family and Steve’s running a support group. Thor’s been in New Asgard for the past year, but I hear he isn’t looking pretty.”  _

_ “And what about you?” Pepper asks. She steps up to Tony. “You haven’t forgotten. You haven’t forgiven, but you’re not trying.”  _

_ “I can’t lose what I’ve got here.”  _

_ “But you want to bring them back.”  _

_ “They has this idea last year, using the stones to bring everyone back, but we don’t have them. Don’t even know if it’ll work.”  _

_ “But you want it to.”  _

_ Tony looks at the newest Spider-Man suit where it hangs on display in the lab. “Yeah, yeah I do.”  _

_ — _

_ “Karen, can you find Mr. Stark?”  _

_ “Linking up with Friday. Mr. Stark is currently battling on the left side of the field.”  _

_ “Cool, thanks!” Peter takes off in the direction she said, swinging from the ships in the sky. The fact he was doing that was both awesome and terrifying and he couldn’t wait to tell Ned all about it. _

_ He finds Mr. Stark where Karen had said, the big guy overwhelming him. Peter shoots off his webs and pulls back, jumping out of the way when the tall guy from Germany squishes the alien.  _

_ “Hey! Holy cow!” Peter says as he drops down next to Tony. Up close he doesn’t look any better. He actually looks distant like somethingwas bothering him. “You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space?” Peter points to the sky. And I got all dusty? And I must've passed out because I woke up and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there right. And he said 'It's been five years. Come on, they need us.' And he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does.” Peter reaches in front of him and mimics Dr. Strange’s portal things. “Anyway…”  _

_ Tony grabs Peter and pulls him into a hug. Peter stands there for a moment, frozen at the fact that he was finally getting a hug, and then throws his arms around Tony.  _

_ “Oh, this is nice.”  _

_ — _

“Mr. Stark…” 

“I have hundreds of hours of footage from my early development to our final moments with him. Would you like me to compile it?” 

Peter rubbed his eyes. That sounded nice. He could send the happy family stuff to Pepper, she’d like that. “Yeah, go ahead and do that. Anyway to filter out all the happy moments?” 

“Of course. Should I create a separate file?” 

“Yes, please. And name it Iron Family.” 

**Author's Note:**

> will i ever stop using song lyrics as titles? probably not
> 
> i have a [discord](https://discord.gg/Pwah8sR) where im always lurking


End file.
